June 27, 2010

Have I mentioned that I can be easily distracted?

I realize that it has been entirely too long since I have written, but if a post magically appeared whenever i wrote one in my head while i was driving, believe me, my blog would not be so empty!
I think part of the reason why i have not written is because I have not been able to wrap my head around a lot of the things that are happening in my life and so it was easier to continue floating on auto-pilot than it was to sit and write and process. 
So now as i am procrastinating on something else I will begin by saying that I LOVE SUMMER!!! I love the hot and humid weather that makes me crave shade and finally melts away winter's cold.  I love the bugs....the lightning bugs that make me feel like I'm 6 all over again as i stare at them in wonder, and the heatbugs whose "buzz" is the soundtrack of the season.  I love the beach and the sunshine and icy cool drinks.  I love farmer's markets and lush gardens and flowers in unexpected places.  I especially love that fact that i get 3 hours of sunshine after work.
All this said, this summer is different, for the first time in my life I don't have a seasonal aspect to my job, I am working the same hours at the same place, indifferent of the changing seasons.  This feels a little weird.  Although I love my job, I miss the freedom of summer vacation. 
The one thing that is changing this summer is that my sister is moving away.  Up until this weekend I have been able to put this inevitable fact off, but as the bachelorette party weekend draws to a close and "last times" for various things happen it is starting to sink in.  My sister and I have always been close in that we are 11 and a half months apart, but our friendship really kicked into high gear when we went to college and no longer shared a room.  And now I as I ponder her move to the far off land of bourbon and horse racing, I realize that the thing i have the hardest time with is that there will be stories that she is not a part of.  I trust God and know that He has good things for her, and I love my future brother-in-law and know that he will take good care of her but the simple fact that there will be times i won't be able to say, "hey, remember when?" scares me a lot more than i would like to admit.  I hope that by writing this out and forcing myself to process this fact now, I will be able to get the really ugly tears done with before the wedding, because water-proof mascara can only be expected to do so much.
In other news, and in order to end on a much lighter note, my container veggie garden is doing well and I got to eat the first string bean from it this afternoon with a much beloved friend.  The tomatoes and eggplants have blooms and I look forward to many good meals to come from them :-)

As I sign-off I guess the take away lesson is to trust God.  Change may be scary and things may not look promising, but God is in control.  O that I would live like this were true and would leave my worries at Christ's feet when I cast them there instead of picking them up again in distrust.

2 comments:

  1. I love that you love summer and lightning bugs, I love that you are processing. Most of all, I love you--but not as much as Jesus does. What do you say we party together this weekend as we launch your lovely sister into the far off land of whiskey and horse racing?

    Having just come back from a family vacation of 3 instead of 4, I can tell you--it is different. But different can be good. I love you!

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  2. Partying sounds like a marvelous idea!
    Love you too!!

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