Most times when I sit to write it is because I have something to say that is gnawing to get out. Today is not one of those days, my mind is scattered, torn between so many thoughts and questions that I am having a hard time discerning any one cohesive thought.
At a retreat in college i remember the speaker had a mason jar full of muddy water, murky brown and completely opaque...she had just shaken it up. She placed the jar on a stool and began to talk about God's call for us to be still and know that He is God. When she spoke of even prayer requests being silenced she caught my attention. Thoughts, concerns, heartaches, and troubles are like the little bits of dirt in the jar...swirling madly around, diffusing light, blocking vision, becoming an obstacle to truth. As she spoke of the peace which passes all understanding the jar began to settle. Slowly, the jar's contents slowed down. First light began to filter through. Then bits of larger objects began to stick out through the muck. Finally the dirt settled to the bottom and the water was clear....twigs once completely hidden became perfectly visible.
I am reminded tonight that is I sit still before God and close my mouth and calm my heart dust will start to settle. First the light of His love and peace will begin to break through. Then parts of what He is trying to tell me will start to be revealed. Finally, if I am faithful and patiently wait, He will show me what He wants me to know.
My inability to hear God speak is not because He is busy or because my problems are too small for Him to care. It is simply because I have not sat still or stayed quiet long enough to listen. My thoughts and needs, hurts and cares are legitimate but I need to trust, for right now, that my Father already knows them.
Tonight is a night for listening.
Recognizing my muddiness tonight and linking up with Imperfect Prose