September 22, 2010

usefullness

I have a bit of a Martha complex.  Cobwebs call for cleaning, recipes beckon to be tried, dirty dishes drown out the silence that I am called to.  My Loving Father tells me to be still and know He is God.  I know that He has truth to tell and love to lavish on me but somehow listening doesn't make the top of the to-do list.
"If I am useful then I can earn my keep.  Production equals purpose.  Busyness brings self-worth."  all things i hear my mind preach to my heart and yet I hear a still small voice saying, "stop....cease your striving and listen....let me teach you my truth, heal your wounds, forgive your sins....let me love you"  Then I look up and let the warmth of the Son warm my cold heart.
Yes, I know that faith without works is dead and that God calls us to do justice, feed the hungry, work towards His glory but obedience without love is meaningless.  Faith must come first.  Loving God must take precedence.  Trusting God to be enough must be enough when He says so. 
Work alone will never save, usefullness will not erase the sin-sick stains on my soul or the pain I feel or the pain I have caused for others.  Christ alone can save this weary soul.   Holy blood shed is the only cure to redeem the works of my hands.  Praise God that what I intend for evil He intends for good.

Joining Emily and others in a community of redeemed brokenness at Imperfect Prose

9 comments:

  1. Being still. You and Emily have shared a similar truth this week - thank you. And thank you for your prayers. They mean so much.

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  2. Thank you for your kind words on my prose tonight, you have lifted up my heart!

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  3. "usefulness will not erase the sin-sick stains on my soul or the pain I feel or the pain I have caused for others"
    WOW, this.
    so much here, for i long for busyness sometimes instead of the seeking him in the moments i'm restless.

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  4. It is so funny we wrestle with this, you would think we would be able to just cease from striving and rest in him but in our brokenness we try and fix it by working, we try to find our own fig leaves to cover our brokenness up but the blood of Jesus is the only thing that can cover and we have to know him first before we can share him and his love. Great post!

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  5. So much is made right in finding the stillness...

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  6. yes, friend, this is what i am learning (over and over and over)... i too have the martha complex. you share this so beautifully, so humbly, and he loves you for this and for your striving to cease :) for your striving to slow and to still. all my love. e.

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  7. ah there is a tentative baance there that we can get so skewed....faith mush come first...love must come first...beacuse that will tell us what to do...

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  8. So true! I've been reading through the Imperfect Prose blogs and this is the third one that is reminding me to do what is most difficult - silence my heart. But you're right: praise God that he loves us and is willing to use us even when we get it wrong over and over.

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  9. We are wired too much alike--such doers. Yet, God is revealing these things to you SO much earlier; you are gaining a heartful of beautiful wisdom. Love you.

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