January 12, 2011


In this season of intention and careful thought some topics have bubbled up and risen to the top of my heart like water just about to simmer.  One of the topics is what woman without man?
Growing up churched, covenant child that I am, I know the verses about what women should be....genesis woman-a helper made for man, bone of bone and flesh of flesh to be a custom made companion; proverbs 31 woman-a godly wife, careful homemaker, wise and loving mother bringing honor to her head of house, called blessed by children. And as I grew, no longer child, welcomed into sisterhood of women in the church...conferences, retreats, bible studies, even small talk around the coffee pot all center around this role-faithful wife, wise and loving mother.
All these good and Godly truths have got me confused and on my knees....please, how do this living as woman single?  If woman was made to be a helper and companion, what do I do without a companion to help?  How do I live faithfully as I was created, when what I was created for is just not an option right now?    I have to believe that there is more to this wo(-man) thing than waiting and wishing and hoping and hearing "o it will happen for you soon." 
Singleness whether for a season or for life is God's best for me right now...i know this because He is sovereign and fully capable of changing the situation and because I know that He loves even more deeply then I can begin to imagine.  Knowing all of this does not answer my questions or take away this aching hunger to live this role of helper-companion, but it does give me peace to not let it keep me up most nights.

Linking my brokeness with Emily today over at Imperfect Prose


  1. i hear you.


    i want listening to be enough


    i need to speak.

    i think...

    i think we do 'singleness' the same way we do 'marriedness' by "being simply and purely devoted to Christ" and continuing to "seek first his kingdom and his righteousness," for each today "and do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

    i know it sounds simple
    i think...

    i think He intends it to be & we often complicate it.

    i know it could sound like i don't get it.
    i do. really.

    i am praying for you. that you would rest in Him. trust in Him. be comforted by Him.
    that He would renew your heart to the knowing that He is truly the Lover of your soul... this day and every day He gifts you

    loving you :)

  2. nice...i like t's thoughts too...it is a submission to where we are...and to God's will in our lives...

  3. It's such an interesting question you pose. And one with no solid answers. Perhaps to treat God as your husband...

    but that's kind of a churchy thing to say. lol

    I'm just glad you find peace. I am searching for it.

  4. No words, dear friend. Just my heart. And Jesus. Love you.

  5. it's interesting to see how our situations impact either our ability or our perception of how we serve God. we can perceive wife and motherhood as our highest calling and yet those very same things can hinder our abilities to do just that. i married young and had children even younger. it's been hard, very hard, especially learning to be a wife, mother and a child of God. i sometimes envy my single friends for their ability to follow God, no matter what. i have watched my married friends struggle with serving God and respecting their husbands. it can be a challenge especially when there is an imbalance in their respective relationships with God.

    as a married woman, i deeply respect and appreciate my single friends, for they have so much to offer that i cannot.

  6. 1 Corinthians 7:32-35

    Last summer I was reflecting a lot on Proverbs 31 (by "reflecting on" I mean "puzzling over and getting frustrated by") and tried to see it not as something to apply to the future, but rather as something I could apply to where I am now. I'm single, but I still have a family to serve.

    And then it occurred to me that all of these images of marriage in the Bible are not necessarily about marriage. They are repeated images of Christ and the Church, and so as a single woman I still have a role to play.

    I'm kind of rambling and these things don't really take the desires to be married away, but I felt like commenting anyway.

  7. oh lauri... what a captivated heart you have. sold to the one who loves you most. i can't imagine this struggle, but my sister knows it well, and i'm going to send her this post, if that's okay, because there is such truth, such holy peace in your words. may you know him in full. and may he bless the desires of your heart.