May 18, 2011


yellowing leaves...starting from the inside
stunted growth
fewer flowers
symptoms looking like too dry or too wet but not quite
roots once safe and warm suddenly bumping into walls, twisting in on themselves, getting tangled and outgrowing home
restlessness settles in slow and steady in both my plants and my soul
if only re-potting was as easy for my soul as it is for my norfolk island pine
last time I felt like this I up and went to Kenya
but now with deeper roots and more responsibilities then I had two years ago
I'm praying for adventures closer to home
just as my pine had to wait patiently for me to re-pot it into roomier home
I'm waiting on God to give my roots some breathing room in some new adventures
because He loves me and knows my heart even better than I do

Joining up with Emily and others at Imperfect Prose

May 11, 2011

hank williams jr, lilacs, and narnia

A man of much worldly experience has been known to sing, "If heaven ain't a lot like Dixie, I don't wanna go"
if it were me I would sing, if heaven doesn't have lilacs, I don't want to go!
(well I would still want to go, but I would probably be a bit disappointed)
I love lilacs...this time of year I find reasons to leave my desk and walk by the bush in the green by town hall just to get a few good lung-fulls of that beautiful scent in me to get me through the day.  I believe there is not a problem that May can throw at me that lilacs won't help.  Someday, my home will have a big lilac bush ( or two or three) planted right by my windows so that when I air the house out for spring cleaning I can welcome in that aroma.
While my love of lilacs and a few other pieces of this rock we call home (like ocean waves and gala apples and clear starry nights) may seem a bit random and a little nutty, they're one of the reasons I am so greatful for heaven to look forward to. 
Being raised in a christian home sometimes wonder how my life would be different if I didn't know God and His promises.  If I didn't have a new heavens and new earth to look forward to, I would be scared of dying.  I can't imagine facing each day knowing that I may not smell lilacs again or eat another crisp apple, but God, the Creator of all things, promises to renew and redeem all parts of creation, to restore everything to even better than it was in the beginning!  So instead of fearing never smelling lilacs again, I can look forward to smelling them the way God always meant for them to smell, without the taint of the curse of mortality on them.
It's like when everyone goes through the door in The Last Battle , "But that was not the real Narnia.  That had a beginning and an end.  It was only a shadow or a copy of the real Narnia which has always been here and will always be here....You need not mourn over Narnia, Lucy.  All of the old Narnia that mattered, all the dear creatures, have been drawn into the real Narnia through the Door." 
I can't wait to echo the unicorn and say "I have come home at last! this is my real country! I belong here.  This is the land I have been longing for all my life, though I never knew it till now.  The reason why we loved the old Narnia is that it sometimes looked a little like this."
I believe I love lilacs because they smell a little like heaven, and for now that is enough.

Joining up with Emily and others at Imperfect Prose