April 11, 2012

it's been a while

So it's been a couple months since I last wrote.  I'm not really sure why...maybe I was busy, maybe I let life kick my butt, maybe I was feeling at a loss for words, maybe I didn't feel like I had anything worthy to share...honestly I think it was a little bit of all of it and I just needed a from sharing.
So now I'm back, but I'm still not sure I really have anything worth saying.   The one thing God has been teaching me during this time of listening (instead of speaking) is that sometimes tests from God don't come in the way you expect.
A lot of people take God's promise to never give us more then we can handle to say, "Well God must know I can handle a lot 'cuz He sure is putting me through some stuff" and then they try and fix it themselves to prove they've passed the test God placed before them.
I've been learning these last few weeks that the test is not a test of doing but a test of faith.  Sometimes  Most times passing the test isn't "doing something" or "fixing something" or relying on our own resourcefulness but it's a test of whether or not you will trust God.
The last few months have been crazy and frustrating and maddening at times but at the beginning and end of everyday (and many moments in between) I'm learning to simple cry out to my Father "help!"
I don't know how He is going to get me through or when some of these things will resolve... BUT I do know that He is good and loves me and I need to start acting like I believe it.  I truly do "need thee every hour."

Linking back up with Emily over at Imperfect Prose