Update, I am loving being a homeowner. God has provided every step of the way even when I don't see where or how it will all come together. I love having a space that is mine that I can use to show hospitality and try out some of the homesteading skills i've been learning from my mountains of library books.
Yes I am still addicted to books and the library is my dealer.
I learned that I am an ENTP on the meyers briggs scale and this has helped me find my groove a bit. Suddenly I realized that the way I am wired to think isn't weird, and that some of the parts of my personality that don't fit the type A or first born stereotype are nothing to feel guilty about. For example, I love the act of organizing but I don't feel the compulsion or desire to stay organized. I find deep peace and great joy in putting things in order (whether numerical, alphabetical, by genre, or even by rainbow color order) but I never quite get to putting things away into their rightful place. I have made peace with this fact. I have also made peace with the fact that I have a shorter attention span then I ever dared own up to and I tend to have bursts of energy divided by times of uninspired downtime. Slow and steady monotony is just not my thing, and I don't feel bad about it anymore.
God has been working on my heart, teaching me to trust Him more. This is a constant battle, because no matter how many times He as proven Himself to be good, my fickle heart still finds reasons to doubt. I am praying through this.
I found out that I am allergic to dairy and eggs, so I have been learning to cook and eat without them. Definitely a learning curve but I think I"m finally getting the hang of it.
In a few months I'll be turning 29. I am nowhere near where I thought I would be. I am learning that God is writing this story and that He is a much more interesting storyteller than I am so I am making peace with letting go and seeing where He puts me.
Much love to you all. I hope to be more consistent about writing this year!